Friday, April 27, 2007
Friday, April 6, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Boxlidgoose champions
All results of legitimate* tournaments should be collated in the following list. At the end of the season a lidded box containing a live goose will be awarded to the overall champion. Or maybe I'll just shout them a beer. We'll see. Anyway, as a point of reference, it should be noted that the assigned value of a win will increase as the relative probability of a win diminishes. ie. the more people contending for a win, the more valuable that win is.
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Courtney - 5 (max pub)
Jillaine - 6 (gunn island pub)
Jess - 7 ** (training weekend)
Sophie - 5 (training weekend)
Hussey - 3 (training weekend)
Arwen - 4 (fish and chips shop)
Jess - 3 (league)
Arwen - 3 (melton junior's day)
Seb Barr - 5 (melton. Ballarat girls are to blame for this travesty!)
Joy - 4
Amanda? - 4/5? (confirmation needed...)
James Phillips - 5 (sorry, that one was my fault)
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*See (far too) extensive rules to determine the specifications for a legitimate tournament.
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Courtney - 5 (max pub)
Jillaine - 6 (gunn island pub)
Jess - 7 ** (training weekend)
Sophie - 5 (training weekend)
Hussey - 3 (training weekend)
Arwen - 4 (fish and chips shop)
Jess - 3 (league)
Arwen - 3 (melton junior's day)
Seb Barr - 5 (melton. Ballarat girls are to blame for this travesty!)
Joy - 4
Amanda? - 4/5? (confirmation needed...)
James Phillips - 5 (sorry, that one was my fault)
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*See (far too) extensive rules to determine the specifications for a legitimate tournament.
**Currently holds naming rights.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Even Leunig knows where it's at!
Although I'm curious as to why he spells 'neighbor' like so, yet spells 'honour' with the u.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
The Shack!
The official address of the Shack is Lot 1, Old Boiler's road, Harmers Haven. There is a phone, 5674 4862, which you're welcome to use at any point.
There is a fair amount of bedding down there, but if you have a sleeping bag easily available bring it. Beds will go to the highest bidder or whoever I feel most sorry for. Supposed 'respect for my elders' will not play a part in bed space allocation, it's all about the bribes. Also, as much as I'd like to insist that the weather will be lovely, bring warm clothes as it can get windy and there are no heaters. If you want to listen to music, bring cds. Bathers and towel if you're planning on swimming - we are at the beach after all. Uhm... if I think of anything else vital I'll add it later.
Excessively detailed directions:
A couple of serious things:
We do see snakes in the area, so please be careful and if you're going to get yourself bitten at least give us some prior warning so that we can get the car ready and ring the hospital. Basic first aid - immobilisation and pressure bandage.
Also, please don't use any light switches that have tape over them. Just accept that if they are taped over there is a reason for it.
There is a fair amount of bedding down there, but if you have a sleeping bag easily available bring it. Beds will go to the highest bidder or whoever I feel most sorry for. Supposed 'respect for my elders' will not play a part in bed space allocation, it's all about the bribes. Also, as much as I'd like to insist that the weather will be lovely, bring warm clothes as it can get windy and there are no heaters. If you want to listen to music, bring cds. Bathers and towel if you're planning on swimming - we are at the beach after all. Uhm... if I think of anything else vital I'll add it later.
Excessively detailed directions:
- Coming from Burke Road, turn east onto the Monash Freeway. If you’re not coming from Burke Road, get onto the Monash Freeway from where ever you are coming from. Ballarat girls, I’m not sure exactly where you’ll join up with these instructions, but I’m figuring you’ll know.
- Turn off the Monash Freeway to Phillip Island/South Gippsland Highway. Drive for a long way. You’re aiming for Wonthaggi.
- At Anderson (the big roundabout where the road to Phillip Island goes off to the right) continue straight on. You’ll then go through Kilcunda (a small town) and Dalyston (another small town).
- Turn right to Cape Paterson (sign posted) at approximately 15 km. (Note: All distances are in kilometres from Anderson).
- Turn right at Cameron St, which has a sign post to ‘rifle range’ and Harmer’s Haven, after 18 km.
- After 22.2 km the road will change to gravel. You didn’t really need to know that.
- Vinamaria Road will come up next. Ignore it. Keep going straight. I only told you it’s there so that you have something to reassure you that you’re going the right way.
- The road will then bend to the left. There is a right turn off to a ‘historic marker’ but ignore that, follow the road left. Unless you want to visit the historic marker, in which case by all means, go right. (No, don't actually go right, losing myself was bad enough, Liz would not be impressed if I lost half the team as well).
- Then there’s a T intersection at 24.2 km. (Oh yes, we’re being precise here). Most cars turn left, you go right.
- You’ll then come to a dead end at a gate. You have arrived! Actually not quite, there is a two kilometre drive through the paddocks. Now, the gate should be unlocked as I will have arrived in the first group, but if for any reason it is not, you’ll find a key hanging on a low nail on the back of a fencepost to the right of the gate. As you drive through there may be other gates to open but they won’t be locked. Leave all gates as you find them so as not to mix up any cattle. If you’re coming through at night, look out for wombats, there are plenty around and you’ll often see them grazing next to the road. Anyway. Yes. That should do. Here's a map.
A couple of serious things:
We do see snakes in the area, so please be careful and if you're going to get yourself bitten at least give us some prior warning so that we can get the car ready and ring the hospital. Basic first aid - immobilisation and pressure bandage.
Also, please don't use any light switches that have tape over them. Just accept that if they are taped over there is a reason for it.
The inaugural Jessboxlidgoose awards
It is highly recommended that you do not come have at least some basic knowledge of what our soon-to-be-official game entails. To do so would put your life and dignity in a most precarious position, and as such you are urged to take note of the following rules. Correct gestures shall be taught at the next team gathering or upon request.
Rule #1 - Under no circumstances does Courtney make up rules.
Rule #2 - No rule shall be made with the intention of simplifying the game.
Rule #3 - Box catches Goose.
Rule #4 - Lid shuts down Box.
Rule #5 - Goose eats Lid. (It is only cardboard after all)
Rule #6 - All games are played best out of three. All tournaments must have a minimum of three players for the results to be counted in the final tally. People who are not members of Team Box are permitted to take part in Boxlidgoose tournaments, and can in fact hold Boxlidgoose titles. However, no tournament is legitimate unless there is at least one Team Box member present and participating. All tournament results must be referred to Snail for officialisation.
Rule #7 – To begin a game, the starting player may challenge any member. Assuming they are victorious, they must continue to challenge all other contenders present consecutively. Whether they do so in a clockwise or anti clockwise direction is at their discretion.
Rule #8 – Should the player lose, the winner will then become the challenger, and must challenge either the person on the left or the right of the previous losing player to decide on the direction of play.
Rule #9 - To complete victory, all in attendance must be beaten consecutively and the first beaten twice. Games must continue until this condition is satisfied, regardless of the number of individuals present and the correlating improbability of the afore mentioned victory taking place in any reasonable timeframe.
Rule #10 - The first individual to maintain a victory against the entire squad shall henceforth be the eponym of the game. Until this time, the individual who has defeated the greatest number of team mates in one sitting shall retain nominal rights.*
Rule #11 - The correct method of challenging an opponent is to goat them. The appropriate response is to present horns in return. To refuse a challenge, one must present their tail. However, a tail must only be offered in the case of a genuine reason, as casual non-acceptance of a challenge shows a grave lack of character.
Rule #12 - Unidentifiable hand gestures will lead to a point being forfeited. This especially applies to Boxes without right angles.
Rule #13 - Failure to perform Goose with the enthusiasm to match Hussey will also cause a point to be lost. Everyone knows geese are aggressive!
Rule #14 - Should a win occur cleanly on the first two plays of a game, the defeated member must perform, or have performed unto them, the appropriate action. ie. a Goose must climb inside the Box, a Lid must be eaten by a Goose, or a Box must be duly Lidded.
Rule #15 - Giggling may not be used to stall between points.
Rule #16 - Any person who, over the course of the game's introduction to society, is able to beat Joy no less than 13 times without conceding a game shall be awarded a much acclaimed high achievement trophy and my everlasting respect. Note that this rule may become null and void should Joy manage to procur a victory over every team member.
Rule #17 - All complaints to be addressed to Jillaine.
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Snail.
*The game temporarily held Courtney's name due to her win against a number of team members (who shall remain nameless) in the opening tournament. Titular rights were briefly held by Jillaine, but now belong to Jess in deference to her win against a greater number of team members. However (thankfully) one must beat the entire squad for naming rights to be permanent.
BOXLIDGOOSE:
Rule #1 - Under no circumstances does Courtney make up rules.
Rule #2 - No rule shall be made with the intention of simplifying the game.
Rule #3 - Box catches Goose.
Rule #4 - Lid shuts down Box.
Rule #5 - Goose eats Lid. (It is only cardboard after all)
Rule #6 - All games are played best out of three. All tournaments must have a minimum of three players for the results to be counted in the final tally. People who are not members of Team Box are permitted to take part in Boxlidgoose tournaments, and can in fact hold Boxlidgoose titles. However, no tournament is legitimate unless there is at least one Team Box member present and participating. All tournament results must be referred to Snail for officialisation.
Rule #7 – To begin a game, the starting player may challenge any member. Assuming they are victorious, they must continue to challenge all other contenders present consecutively. Whether they do so in a clockwise or anti clockwise direction is at their discretion.
Rule #8 – Should the player lose, the winner will then become the challenger, and must challenge either the person on the left or the right of the previous losing player to decide on the direction of play.
Rule #9 - To complete victory, all in attendance must be beaten consecutively and the first beaten twice. Games must continue until this condition is satisfied, regardless of the number of individuals present and the correlating improbability of the afore mentioned victory taking place in any reasonable timeframe.
Rule #10 - The first individual to maintain a victory against the entire squad shall henceforth be the eponym of the game. Until this time, the individual who has defeated the greatest number of team mates in one sitting shall retain nominal rights.*
Rule #11 - The correct method of challenging an opponent is to goat them. The appropriate response is to present horns in return. To refuse a challenge, one must present their tail. However, a tail must only be offered in the case of a genuine reason, as casual non-acceptance of a challenge shows a grave lack of character.
Rule #12 - Unidentifiable hand gestures will lead to a point being forfeited. This especially applies to Boxes without right angles.
Rule #13 - Failure to perform Goose with the enthusiasm to match Hussey will also cause a point to be lost. Everyone knows geese are aggressive!
Rule #14 - Should a win occur cleanly on the first two plays of a game, the defeated member must perform, or have performed unto them, the appropriate action. ie. a Goose must climb inside the Box, a Lid must be eaten by a Goose, or a Box must be duly Lidded.
Rule #15 - Giggling may not be used to stall between points.
Rule #16 - Any person who, over the course of the game's introduction to society, is able to beat Joy no less than 13 times without conceding a game shall be awarded a much acclaimed high achievement trophy and my everlasting respect. Note that this rule may become null and void should Joy manage to procur a victory over every team member.
Rule #17 - All complaints to be addressed to Jillaine.
--------------------------------
Snail.
*The game temporarily held Courtney's name due to her win against a number of team members (who shall remain nameless) in the opening tournament. Titular rights were briefly held by Jillaine, but now belong to Jess in deference to her win against a greater number of team members. However (thankfully) one must beat the entire squad for naming rights to be permanent.
Disclaimer: Any attempt to subvert my authority in establishing these rules will result in sudden and unexplainable death for the team member in question. As the loss of one (or possibly two should I be held accountable for murder) Boxettes would be detrimental to our chances at Nationals, it is my suggestion that the above be peaceably accepted without question.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
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